Stress out

You know some time i do think my PM treat me not bad. But somehow or rather i easily feel annoyed by whatever he asked me to do. 

I mean for a boss to ask his man to work, give him a task, is perfectly normal. Sometimes we even heard about some unreasonable boss giving unreasonable workload plus bad treatment. Well, i don't really get this kind of treatment but i wonder why i got so fed up with everything he did. Even though it is just a very small issue.

I practically not afraid of him. Maybe don't have respect either. I don't know.

I threw my anger to him today, electronically. I mean, using email. Think i shouldn't have done that but i just can't resist myself.

Perhaps it is because no matter what kind of situations we are in, we still manage to find some bad stuff in it and complain. Just like in Singapore while everything looks pretty good already but you will still find lots of people complaining about stuffs, although it is much better than Malaysia already.

Perhaps we just won't get enough of everything we have had. We always want to be better, and in one way it make us suffer.

What is my problem?

I think most probably people who read my blog posts will probably realized that most of my posts revolves around my thoughts. Thoughts that are few could be able to understand, i guess.

At first i thought it is because i think too much, but after recently i thought to myself perhaps the problem could be also addressed as "obsessive". I realized i do obsess with a lot of things.

So is it being obsessive a problem? It sounds like it does. However, if you look at it positively, one could also say it is "passion", isn't it? When i obsess with playing drum i become good at it. But when it comes to relationships, i think obsessive could only lead to the bad side, negative. 

It is simple and make sense. Who likes to be obsessed by somebody else? It sounds like a stalker or a sex maniac. "Mutual" is the word for relationships. Okay now the problem is, how to control my "passion" for it? How to make it "mutual", so to speak?

"Actually i do like you but not very intensely." Like that? Or act like i don't really care when i really do? Is that the way? With all these being said, am i really have to learn to distract my thoughts with other stuffs? When all i really want to do is to think about her? How could i ended up driven her away? I do feel when i don't care as much, my feelings for relationships around me is better. When i really care about it, i will feel i have not done enough, and i will put myself in a difficult situation, making myself feel bad when things did not happen the way i wanted it to be.

Now don't ask or try to guess who is the "her". There's is no specific her because the scenario mentioned above does not happened for one time only. I don't know whether this is the true problem or not, but yet i got no better explanation to all that have happened. Perhaps you could give me an answer for that matter.

Perhaps the moment when i am thinking and blogging about this, it is already a problem itself, because usually ordinary man would not have such a thinking in the first place. They are steady and cool with almost everything, exaggeratedly.

Is that a problem? What is my problem?