A thoughtful post

Last night i went to Clark Quay for the first time. Well.. The environment is very nice and i love it so much. Lights are everywhere and stunningly lit. Hanging out there is definitely great although it was quite crowded i must say. Maybe crowded is the whole point because without the crowd there would not be any atmosphere at all.

Life here started to get boring. Less and less new things came up and things started to get very repetitive. I wonder whether it would be the same if i was in Malaysia instead of here at Singapore. Maybe worse at Malaysia i don't know. Living my life this way is really making me feel meaningless. If one doesn't have any goal or target working here i think probably he or she would find it very hard to carry on your life here especially if you are alone.

So how do you compensate yourself for all the hardship you endure? Buying stuffs is surely one the way. Grab home some new gadgets in shopping mall for you to play with. Spice up your super duper boring life a little bit. However, it kind of screw up your initial plan/goals of working here which primarily is to save money. Same goes to hanging out in places like pub or expensive restaurant. You get a wonderful experience but it cost you hell lots of money. Are these experiences worth the money?

To answer the question above one might need to consider what is he actually planning to do with the money you saved. As for me if you are only trying to save and so that when you go back your hometown you get to buy a house and car that is to me, so not worth it, especially if you were to sacrifice being with your loved ones and friends. At the end of the day you still need to work, and perhaps work even harder because you may find the experience you gained here irrelevant to your future work in your hometown. It is basically starting all over again except you have your house and car with you. Besides, are you willing to accept the wage that is cut down more than half? That is assuming you only consider about the exchange rate not to say the figure itself might get slash down.

So what is the right plan? I have plans of my own and i prefer to keep it to myself right now. Hopefully one day in the future i get to share how was i actually done it. Now the thing for me is i find it rather difficult to balance between the money saved and compensation for my working-my-ass-off life. How much should i spend and how much should i save? Working in my field is so unpleasant simply because the working environment itself is harsh, under the extreme sunlight and heat. Not to forget the dangerous working environment which is so notoriously known for hazards like falling from heights, hit by falling objects, machine crushing your body parts and so on. If the money isn't good i really don't want to work in this field anymore. If i'm in Malaysia, forget about being a civil engineer.

Another thing is, working as site engineer, you get to see only males, or perhaps 98% males. That is so cruel when you are trying to get a life partner and move on your life to the next stage. If you are not single before entering this field then you should thank God! Unless you are good with being alone for the rest of your life. For me, i started to think of a family rather than a simple boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I think i have come to the stage where i hope the next girl i'm dating with is the one that i'm going to marry. My project manager who is already married always said to me, "Faster go get a girlfriend lo.." "If you still behave like it doesn't matter then before you realized you already an old man." "Make an effort now otherwise later when you old who is going to take care of you?" Things like that... I know it is funny but it is quite true.

I don't know how and i don't know when but i hope i can find my special one someday somehow. In the mean time, i will remind myself to stay focus on achieving my goals in life. Joy is obtain doing what you passionate about, and that is how life supposed to be.